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How do manage your relationships?

I don’t mean to pry… okay, yes I do. How do you photo journalists and guys (and gals) who spend weeks or months away from home, manage your relationships at home? Do you find they are stronger or does the job cause strains on the relationships? Do you get problems because you’re going somewhere exotic, and they’re not? Does going into a war zone cause problems for instance.

by Tim Key at 2008-04-18 17:21:55 UTC (ed. Apr 27 2008 ) Derby , United Kingdom | Bookmark | | Report spam→

Ask around and see how many photographers have been divorced at least once…

by James Colburn | 19 Apr 2008 15:04 | McAllen, Texas, United States | | Report spam→
Well on the rare occasions I get a foreign these days my wife always says “going on your holidays dear?” She knows the truth all too well-it’s bloody hard work, not a jolly and she wouldn’t dream of tagging along, even if it was somewhere exotic. I do have several photojournalist friends who have been divorced one or two times. I’d say a small part of that was to do with the job probably. I guess I’m very lucky that my wife puts up with both me and the job.

by JR, (John Watts-Robertson). | 19 Apr 2008 16:04 | somewhere, United Kingdom | | Report spam→
Being away in any job challenges relationships. I have observed that the most important (but not the only) thing is for the other person to know they remain high on your priorities. That means that, whenever the work is done (or, should I say, you stop working), you should make a priority to try to contact the other person. This should take precedence over having a beer with your mates who are on the scene.

Absence always tends to breed suspicions, whether justified or not, and fear of loss in that circumstance can grow and eat out the heart of the person back home. Trust is therefore all-important, and absolute fidelity on your part has to be the rule if you care about the relationship back home. Once one person in a relationship finds the other screwed around with someone far away, the essential trust element is lost and no absence can occur ever again without there being fear and suspecion that it will happen again.

Final thought – if the underlying relationship is not good when both parties are home, being away can be its death knell. If it’s not good, then start to work seriously on the relationship long before the absence begins.

by [former member] | 20 Apr 2008 17:04 | Washington, DC, United States | | Report spam→
Stay single & enjoy yourself.

by L--T | 20 Apr 2008 20:04 | Sapporo , Japan | | Report spam→
Neal…Said like a true lawyer with a great closing summation. HA! And don’t forget the flowers.:):):)

by Gregory Sharko | 20 Apr 2008 20:04 | Brooklyn, New York, United States | | Report spam→
Read Jim LoScalzo’s “Evidence of my Existence.” Tells you everything you need to know (for good or for ill). It’s also brilliantly written and hilariously funny.

by [former member] | 20 Apr 2008 23:04 | New York, United States | | Report spam→
Well, Greg, as someone who had one failed marriage (not from either party screwing around, I might note, or at least I didn’t), I learned a few things along the way. So my advice is based on my personal non-lawyer observations, and what is now a wonderful marriage. As an old fart within shouting range of me, I’ll bet you could say a thing or two on this! :-)

I second Preston’s recommendation on a book that addresses the personal elements of traveling photojournalism. I have not read it myself but it comes well-recommended from other sources too. Here are voluntary comments on the book from the Amazon Web site by legendary shooter David Burnett:

“As someone who has the advantage of knowing both Author and many of the other folks mentioned in his book, I have to say that he has done a real service to the world of photojournalism. We all know we live wacky lives in a wacky world, and spend much of our time trying to make relatively smooth interactions with family, friends and loved ones who are of the ‘normal world.’ It is never easy, as the attraction to the work is very nearly a primal force, and it often seems to take precedence in our lives in ways which actual normal people might find either weird, or like Mr. Ford says in his review, insensative [sic]. Yet those people who pursue the world of photography and journalism do it not strictly for the ego blast involved, though one’s ego is at stake every time you press the shutter: there is a feeling which we all share about the documenting of history which remains the driving force. Mr. LoScalzo absolutely hits it on the head, in his descriptions of his own personal discovery of the power of that photographic image, as well as the inherent pitfalls which photojournalists face in trying maintain a sense of normalcy in their lives. (This is no less true for women photographers than for men, and perhaps even greater because of societal expectations.) Yet the pure enjoyment of the chase for the images, and the battles to get them used in print is wonderfully captured, as is his knack of sharing the sense of quirky individualism in the colleagues in his stories. As someone who for years felt many of the same emotions he wonderfully describes in his book, I salute him for sharing with the rest of the world a little bit of what our world is really like. Highly recommended, even if you don’t know a single photographer!”

by [former member] | 21 Apr 2008 00:04 (ed. Apr 21 2008) | Washington, DC, United States | | Report spam→
Neal…After 38 years of living with Mrs Sharko, I can’t even comprehend things being totally different. She must be my guardian angel. I’m the big fuck up. ;)

by Gregory Sharko | 21 Apr 2008 00:04 | Brooklyn, New York, United States | | Report spam→
Some of us (read ME, at least) definitely married above our station in life!

by [former member] | 21 Apr 2008 01:04 | Washington, DC, United States | | Report spam→
Bartender!!! Another round for us old farts. :):):)

by Gregory Sharko | 21 Apr 2008 01:04 | Brooklyn, New York, United States | | Report spam→
Headline: Old Farts Again Hijack Important Thread

by [former member] | 21 Apr 2008 01:04 | Washington, DC, United States | | Report spam→
How do I manage my relationships?

Well its 3.33am and I was meant to have a hot date tonight, but well I ended up following a story and getting agreement from some people that it will be OK to document them in all sorts of situations.

Unfortunately the hot date bailed…

Another one bites the dust!

So how do I manage my relationships- very, very badly apparently!

by lisa hogben | 22 Apr 2008 17:04 | sydney, Australia | | Report spam→
How do you photo journalists and guys (and gals) who spend weeks or months away from home, manage your relationships at home? Do you find they are stronger or does the job cause strains on the relationships? Do you get problems because you’re going somewhere exotic, and they’re not? Does going into a war zone cause problems for instance.

1. I dont leave home. It saves on bus fare.
2. Relations at home are fine. The cat seems to like me.
3. My relationship with the cat is fine. I feed it and it does nothing except sleep all day. I think the cat is a socialist.
4. Exotic? You mean places like New Jersey or Connecticut? The cat seems to be fine with that. So do the termites.
5. I do not travel to war zones except on holidays. The rest of the year I try to avoid my relatives.

by Akaky | 26 Apr 2008 15:04 | New York , United States | | Report spam→
Like Rodney said " Every ten years I seem to get the urge to buy a woman a house"

by Pete Woronowski | 27 Apr 2008 01:04 | Saskatchewan, Canada | | Report spam→
Pete who is Rodney?

And if its ten years since he felt that could you introduce us?

by lisa hogben | 27 Apr 2008 03:04 | sydney, Australia | | Report spam→
Well, here is an NPR piece on how Annie Griffiths Belt has managed her family life.

Quite an accomplishment.

by [former member] | 27 Apr 2008 12:04 | Washington, DC, United States | | Report spam→

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Participants

Tim Key, Tim Key
(www.tikephotos.org)
Derby , United Kingdom
James Colburn, Photographer/Photo Editor James Colburn
Photographer/Photo Editor
Omaha, Nebraska , United States ( OMA )
JR, (John Watts-Robertson)., Photographer JR, (John Watts-Robertson).
Photographer
Rothwell , United Kingdom
L--T, Helipilot ATPL(H)CPL/IR L--T
Helipilot ATPL(H)CPL/IR
(Hokkaido. Japan)
Hokkaido , Japan
Gregory Sharko, photographer Gregory Sharko
photographer
Brooklyn, New York , United States ( JFK )
lisa hogben, Visualjournalist! lisa hogben
Visualjournalist!
Sydney , Australia
Akaky, Contemptible lout Akaky
Contemptible lout
New York , United States ( AAA )
Pete Woronowski, Photographer Pete Woronowski
Photographer
Saskatchewan , Canada


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